We have all
heard the claims:
Gods are
the creators of the Universe we know. And the creators of the Universe we don’t
know. Yet.
After all, it
must take a god to do that, right?
OK, so,
let’s assume one of the gods is a creator and created the Universe. Let’s
assume the various books are right and, as told in the Koran, the Islamic god
won the heavenly competition and is “The Best of the Creators”.
So let’s
examine this and play out the scenario what happened before that.
Interviewer:
Hello, take a seat. I hope you had a pleasant trip. How do I address you? You
write in your CV you don’t have a name, but your function is creator/god, is
that correct?
God: That
is correct. Just call me god. I am also used to being called lord or master.
Interviewer:
Fine, whatever. You are being interviewed because you applied as creator.
God: Yes,
indeed, thank you for inviting me over. Where can I help?
Interviewer:
We need a creator, who can create a universe for us. Are you up to that?
God: Yes, I
think I can do that.
Interviewer:
Excellent! You sent us a CV which left us a bit puzzled, so would you mind
answering a few questions on your key capabilities?
God: No, not
at all. I’ll be happy to answer any questions you might have.
Interviewer:
Well, it says here your key skills are benevolence, power, wisdom, knowledge,
mercy and eternal. You are also immutable, just, transcendent and good.
God: That
is correct.
Interviewer:
So how exactly does that provide the qualification to create a universe?
God: Because
I am omnipotent, I am able to do what I want. I am also omniscient, so I know
what will happen in advance if I do what I want. I am also omnipresent, so I
can be everywhere at the same time doing what I want.
Interviewer:
That sounds good. But then, since we have a small problem with our supplier and
nothing comes from nothing, could you create a universe from basically nothing?
God: Yes.
Interviewer:
Great, that would help. But can you elaborate a bit on how can you create
something from nothing if nothing comes from nothing, as everyone knows?
God: I can
do what I want, so this is a miracle.
Interviewer:
So you can also create a round square?
God: A
what?
Interviewer:
A round square.
God: But
that’s impossible by definition.
Interviewer:
So is creating something from nothing. But you said you could do that.
God: Yes.
Interviewer:
Ok, let’s leave that. So you say you can do everything and know everything. Can
you tell us how you would create our universe?
God: No,
because I am invisible and transcendent, not contingent and immensely powerful.
Also, I need a miracle to do that and since I am beyond your human comprehension
and logics, you will not comprehend the process - which I will need to keep a
secret, by the way.
Interviewer:
So if we don’t know what you will do and how you will do it and using what
materials, have you created something previously?
God: In
fact, just recently I created 2 places. They are called heaven and hell. I am
very proud of them.
Interviewer:
Splendid. Where are they so we can take a look and evaluate your capability to
create?
God: You
can’t really evaluate them, but you will know one of them - after you die.
Interviewer:
Which one?
God: That basically
depends on your behavior, your gullibility, your adherence to worshiping
rituals and propensity to follow nonsensical rules.
Interviewer:
If it depends on me, why can’t you tell me - if you are really omniscient and
know everything in advance - which one it will be?
God: Because
I have given you the option of doing what is right and what is wrong. If you do
what is right, you will be rewarded in the place I created called heaven and if
you do what is wrong you will be punished in the other one, called hell.
Interviewer:
But do I decide what is right because it is right or is something right because
you declare it being right?
God: You
are free to decide.
Interviewer:
But if I get it wrong I get punished?
God: Yes,
of course, isn’t that just?
Interviewer:
What about the merciful you mentioned earlier?
God: Oh
yes, I am extremely merciful. If you repent I can be good with you over almost
anything.
Interviewer:
But if you are just a teeny-tiny bit merciful, why did you even create the
place called hell, if a little mercy will reduce any punishment, no matter how
just, reducing the maximum punishment in hell, making hell superfluous?
God: I am
all-merciful, but not with everything. It depends on the humans I will create
in the Universe I will create, which I already know I will do.
Interviewer:
But you don’t even know whether I will go to heaven or hell, which you should
know if you really are omniscient and would be heaven by default if you were
merciful. So you don’t seem to know very much at all, you are sloppy when it
comes to logics, then you say you created places nobody can evaluate and check
and you can’t do what you said you could do. I’m starting to lose trust in your
abilities. How do I know that anything you say is true?
God: You
can trust me, because I am god, the truthful one and only.
Interviewer:
And how do I know this is true and that you are not the opposite?
God: Your
lack of faith is disturbing.
Interviewer:
I can’t build a universe on faith. I need someone with a little energy and a
few particles, the laws of nature will take care of the rest. All I need is the
first input, someone who will explode.
You don’t
seem to have what it takes, so, thank you for coming here and we wish you the
best of luck in your career.
God: It was
my pleasure. Good bye.
But rest
assured, I will follow the development of your universe and slip in through a
back door and claim it was me all along. I’ll get you, one way or the other hahahaha
